The original Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom.
>>  The day-to-day chronicles of Baka-chan, evil genius and overlord of the Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom.
Order is restored.

04/01/09 @ 03:14:08 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, Baka-chan vs. The World, 69 words, 1071 views  

(CNN, AP, Reuters, et al.)
Thursday April 2nd, 2009

MITHRIL’s S.R.T. LAGUZ, in a joint operation with the JGSDF Special Counter-Terrorism Task Force has retaken Tokyo Toshokan from the Communist forces. Special commendation has been extended to Baka-chan (a.k.a. LAGUZ-1) of the Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom and the other members of his Special Response Team who participated in the operation: |Tigerhawk|, iDuckie, LobsterHime, Chibi-Dyaran.

Breaking news!

04/01/09 @ 12:35:17 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, Baka-chan vs. The World, 129 words, 1142 views  

(CNN, AP, Reuters, et al.)
Wednesday April 1st, 2009

Communist forces have used the confusion created by April Fool’s day and the possibility of an attack from the Conficker worm to take over popular Japanese media bittorrent site Tokyo Toshokan, renaming it Běijīng Túshūguǎn and changing the site layout and language accordingly.

It is unknown at this time if any action is being taken to resolve the situation, but there are rumors that a joint operation between Counter-Terrorist group MITHRIL and the JGSDF Special Counter-Terrorism Task Force may be in the planning stages.

The site serves countless users daily and is the primary source for fan translations or so-called ‘fansubs’ of Japanese entertainment.

So there you have it, kids. We’re in a world of shit.

The Week of a Thousand Things - Part 2

02/14/08 @ 12:53:00 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, Life of Baka, Baka-chan on Anime, GPMoD People, Projects, 391 words, 1301 views  

So, a recent alliance between the GPMoD and a secret society that stands against evil in all its forms (Especially stupidity) Has spawned the idea of doing a 2D fighting game with characters based on our online personas and our respective communities’ in-jokes. I’ll have more to say about this project at a later date.

I really need to catch up on my anime… I haven’t finished Minami-ke or Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei, and now Minami-ke Okawari! and Zoku Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei are airing… Gundam 00 still sucks. Code Geass doesn’t return until April. The only thing I’m staying current on is Kaiji. I’ve been watching Triad’s subs with my father. He really liked Akagi… Kaiji doesn’t seem to appeal to him as much, but he still likes it.

Also, Evangelion 1.0 is the greatest thing to ever happen to the franchise, and perhaps anime in-general…but I’ll talk more about that in another post. (I swear to fucking GOD, I want to go to Japan just to SEE it in the theater!) It doesn’t come out on DVD and Blu-ray until late April… I have plans to make that my first hi-def purchase… And then I will write a fansub script for it. One that is in no way based on the original US translations… A completely new reinterpretation of the dialogue based on intense study of the background and mythos of Shin Seiki Evangelion, (This from someone who named their computers ZEROGOKI, SHOGOKI, and NIGOKI, on workgroup EVANGELION, hooked up with Blue, Purple, and Red ethernet cables…) and conforming to an ideal of ‘accurate translation at any cost’. People don’t know what the fuck is going on? Tough shit, you obviously don’t know something that you’re SUPPOSED to know. Read a fucking book.

I am serious about this. I am sick of all these half-assed translations on OFFICIAL DVDS, and ADVs crap releases. I am going to do this, and deliver them the goddamn script with the warning that if they alienate the intended demographic for EVA 1.0 with a shit sub, there is little doubt they will lose 90% of all sales of the movie to hi-def rips of it on bittorrent. They need to learn once and for all.

    GOD’S IN

Fansubs and You, a letter to the anime industry.

12/07/07 @ 05:31:26 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, 1107 words, 1185 views  

This open letter to the anime industry was prompted by this ANN article which was linked to from this Mistakes of Youth strip.

I figured it was time for TheGoddamnBakachan to weigh in.

This has been coming for a long time now. I won’t lie to you, the end time is here. The anime industry, and the anime community at large, as they exist now…HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE! (…make your time.)

I have been exposed to anime for most of the 26 (Almost 27) years I have been alive, I really got into anime back in the mid 90s, the days of VHS fansubbing. I got exposed to series I had never heard of, things like the original Tenchi Muyo! OVA, for instance. I didn’t much care how the stuff got MADE back then, so the following is ‘afaik’.

Originally, to fansub, you needed the following:
 1. A way of getting the show from Japan, typically on LaserDisc.
 2. A high-end LD player.
 3. An Amiga computer with a genlock and the appropriate subbing software.
 4. A decent VHS or SVHS deck to record the fansubs.
 5. A working understanding of what the hell you’re doing.
 6. A Japanese translator. (As stealing another group’s subs would require, well…B&E.)

This doesn’t take into account a method of distribution, and a way for people to even know you EXIST. And all that gear? Yeah, cost a metric fuckton.

The primary reason fansubs existed back then is that anime was simply INACCESSIBLE in the US. (And most places not-Japan, but for the sake of clarity, I’m concentrating on the ‘local’ scene.)

As anime slowly began showing up here in the US, that became less of an issue. At some point, and I’m not really sure when, it started becoming available both subbed, and dubbed. (Albeit as separate products) I’ll admit, I didn’t actually BUY any anime until DVDs came on the scene…but at the same time, all the fansub tapes I watched didn’t belong to me either.

When modern fansubbing started, it was kind of…shitty… Low resolution videos with crappy encoding and tiny subs… But I was there. I was exposed to shows like Trigun and Cowboy Bebop… I experienced FLCL and other totally great shows and OVAs… Later it was higher quality video and better subtitles… Shows like Mahoromatic and Azumanga Daioh… Modern fansubs had arrived.

The problem with modern fansubbing is that there’s no real prerequisite. Everyone and their retarded cousin Jed can fansub now.

Here’s what the modern fansubber needs:
 1. A pulse.
 2. A computer.
 3. An internet connection.
 4. A working understanding of what the hell you’re doing.
 5. A Japanese translator.

Now, you don’t have to be a rocket surgeon or brain scientist to see that the standards have been lowered…like…a lot. What’s more, is that the vast majority of stuff being fansubbed has JUST aired on TV, when old school subbers typically had to wait for it to hit retail. That means more, sooner.

Nowadays, I don’t even watch fansubs all that much, unless I’m watching a series with friends or sharing it with family, I just download the raws. Is that any better? No. But it’s how I find shows I like. I have to WATCH THEM. But more than that, the latest anime from Japan has become my Television. No cable, just a projector. If I like a show and want to watch it over and over again, I’ll buy it. If not, well… It was on TV, so to speak, and that’s that.

Licensing anime became a viable business because anime was becoming so popular here in the US. For the most part, anime was becoming more popular here because fansubs were exposing more and more people to anime.

Oh hey, bonus question!

Q. Does this sound familiar?

A. Hmm, let me think. Hey, you know…it does. Metallica got their big break off the popularity from people circulating bootlegs of their performances. Then, years later, after they were fat, rich, and old, they decided to jump on the anti-piracy bandwagon and blame pirates for the woes of the music industry.

The woes of the music industry have nothing to do with piracy. It has to do with most of the product out there being SHIT. And you can’t sell SHIT for twenty bucks a pop no matter HOW nice the liner art is. (At least not to most people.) If recent history is any indication, the woes of the music industry are entirely their own doing.

Another thing to consider is the universal constant that a majority of people who download anything for free, wouldn’t have paid for it in the first place. Some guy living in a rat-infested shithole downloads a copy of Photoshop to use on his 300mhz Packard Bell that’s held together with duct tape. Did Adobe just lose a sale? No. This fucking guy would NEVER, IN HIS LIFE, be able to afford a copy anyway.

No one is going to buy a 50, 26, or even 13 episode series if they don’t have any idea if they’ll like it or not. Know what’s wrong with anime on TV? Not everyone gets it, and it’s all dubbed. What’s wrong with dubs? They tend towards the HORRID end of the spectrum. Do you really think that’s going to sell product?

Then there’s other considerations… A lot of the fansubs out there are utter shit, but the ones that aren’t are usually BETTER than the retail DVD subs.

Just like the music industry, the US anime industry is dying a slow painful death because the product is SHIT. And I’m not even talking about the shows; The subtitles are shit. The dubs are shit, and honestly shouldn’t exist anyway as you’re just wasting disc space and lobotomizing the next generation of anime fans. Disc space that would perhaps be better spent giving us video quality on par with the Japanese DVDs which have TWICE THE VIDEO BITRATE.


I should be your target audience; the gaijin otaku. I expect any product I spend money on to be WORTH IT. I expect, when I buy a DVD, to not feel ashamed to be an American!

Yes, you heard me.

Your DVDs make me blame the misfortune of my birth.

Think about that for a moment.

Right now, most R1 anime DVDs are simply not worth their asking price. There are precious few anime DVDs I have purchased at full price… The rest were obtained from sales at RightStuf, for around $5 a DVD. That is literally the most I was willing to spend.

The Internet...You Just Failed It

11/30/06 @ 07:10:24 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, 356 words, 1277 views  

* Joins: yzlu (WinNT@A49AFAA0.27D54BF0.8C5ADD45.IP)
<yzlu> !triggers
<yzlu> !xdcc
* yzlu was kicked by Fureya (die (anti-xdcc list kick) #6714)
* Joins: yzlu (WinNT@A49AFAA0.27D54BF0.8C5ADD45.IP)
* yzlu was kicked by Fureya (die (anti-xdcc list kick) #6716)
* Joins: yzlu (WinNT@A49AFAA0.27D54BF0.8C5ADD45.IP)
<yzlu> !webpage

I guess learning isn't his strong suit.

<yzlu> @find RESOLUTION?
<yzlu> @find [Moe][APE]? KOTOKO &? Kawada Mami -? BALDR? FORCE? EXE? RESOLUTION? OVA? OP-ED?.rar

What the godfuck now?

<+Baka-chan> \o/
<yzlu> lol
<yzlu> that was an accident
<yzlu> ;';


<yzlu> as if u can find it

I don't know. Let's see.

<+Baka-chan> !xdcc

*clickity-click* *Ctrl+F* B-A-L-D-R *F3* *F3*

#239 16x [148M] [Moe][APE]_KOTOKO_&_Kawada_Mami_-_BALDR_FORCE_EXE_RESOLUTION_OVA_OP-ED.rar

Total Duration: SIX SECONDS.

<+Baka-chan> Found it.
<+Baka-chan> Kill yourself.
<yzlu> !xdcc
<yzlu> too bad its was not there and it still isnt
<yzlu> has been looking for it
<yzlu> site is
<yzlu> I know

Like I'm fucking lying? Fine, be that way.

/msg Shana-tan xdcc send #239

-> *Shana-tan* xdcc send #239

-Shana-tan- ** Sending you pack #239 ("[Moe][APE]_KOTOKO_&_Kawada_Mami_-_BALDR_FORCE_EXE_RESOLUTION_OVA_OP-ED.rar"), which is 148MB (resume supported)

<+Baka-chan> THE INTERNET
<+Baka-chan> I don't even fucking WANT this. But I'll download it just so you have to fucking wait once you get your head out of your ass and learn to read a fucking list.

Baka-chan, Doing It Right™ since 1981.


What's wrong with this picture?

04/06/06 @ 09:39:47 am, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, 120 words, 1255 views  

I woke up to some retardation on Rizon this morning, and got my morning workout. Apparently, my sparring partner was working off a script, and trolling the whole channel. And now claims that I have been pwned. By what? You gave me exactly what I wanted, you tool. I got my morning workout, you got banned.

I'm sure no less than a dozen stupid people will curse you to hell for seeing to it I was wide awake so early in the morning, though. ^_- b O YA, BERI GUUDO! You're even a danger to your own kind.

Oh noes, he was working off a script~ Like I listen to the people I'm arguing with anyway, pfft. That's how amateurs operate.

Casval Deikun lives!

03/20/06 @ 02:58:45 am, Categories: Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, Baka-chan Brings The Funny, Random Randomness, 199 words, 2318 views  

So, I was doing some random surfing, when I heard about this guy, Daisuke 'Dice-K' Enomoto, someone who cashed in on a string of dot-coms and made himself a modest fortune, and is going to be the next 'space tourist'. (I personally think 'commercial astronaut' sounds better...) Anyway, I didn't really care much about that, beyond the fact that he was the first Japanese 'space tourist'...until I read that he wants to dress as Char Aznable. I was like... SIEG ZEON!

Seriously. He's going to dress as Char, he's already dyed his hair blonde, and he's going to build some gunpla in microgravity on the ISS. All I could think of, was what Lewis Black says about wealthy CEOs coming up with creative things to spend money on instead of simple one-upsmanship. THIS is the kind of thing he's talking about. This guy is going into SPACE as one of the biggest Japanese pop-culture icons of the last 30 years. Char-fucking-Aznable. That's a pretty creative and damned-cool way to blow several million dollars. This guy is awesome beyond compare.

JESUS FUCK! Yes, I know this is old news! But it's not like I post every friggin day, you know?

Some classic Shinsen stupidity.

10/11/05 @ 12:15:57 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, Baka-chan Brings The Funny, 686 words, 1309 views  

[07.22/02.34.43] < YABA> When is ragnarock 16 coming out ?
[07.22/02.34.57] < YABA> When is ragnarock 16 coming out ??

[07.22/02.35.31] < keikochan> When you stop being a retard.
[07.22/02.35.37] * Baka-chan sets mode: +b *!*

[07.22/02.35.39] * YABA was kicked by Baka-chan (IT JUST AIRED TODAY YOU SHIT, FUCKING DIE)
[07.22/02.35.44] < keikochan> Awwww.

[07.22/02.35.51] < %Baka-chan> Gods.
[07.22/02.35.55] < keikochan> You didn't let me tell him that that meant never.

[07.22/02.35.57] < keikochan> :(

[07.22/02.36.25] < %Baka-chan> Well, I'm sure even HE figured that much out :P

This is just the beginning of the saga.



nani sore?
A peek inside the mad, mad, mind of Baka-chan. Animator, artist, hater of stupid people, and evil genius. Look upon the undoing of all order in the universe, and tremble.
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