The original Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom.
>>  The day-to-day chronicles of Baka-chan, evil genius and overlord of the Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom.
Japanglish wa sugoi desu!
 
  

03/28/06 @ 06:18:18 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan Brings The Funny, Pretty Pictures, 95 words, 1049 views  

We've all seen Engrish, and if you're like me, you know that Japanglish, Japanese badly used by foreigners, DOES exist. But never has it hit so close to home for the Baka-chan. Observe!

Not just performance apparel, SUGOI performance apparel!
Click for larger image.

This sticker is in one of the Merchant's Row-side display windows of the Alpine Shop here in downtown Middlebury, right down the street from me. I couldn't help but stop and shoot a picture, and when it turned out not looking as good as I'd hoped....I went back out and shot it again. It was THAT BAD.

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Casval Deikun lives!
 
  

03/20/06 @ 02:58:45 am, Categories: Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, Baka-chan Brings The Funny, Random Randomness, 199 words, 2281 views  

So, I was doing some random surfing, when I heard about this guy, Daisuke 'Dice-K' Enomoto, someone who cashed in on a string of dot-coms and made himself a modest fortune, and is going to be the next 'space tourist'. (I personally think 'commercial astronaut' sounds better...) Anyway, I didn't really care much about that, beyond the fact that he was the first Japanese 'space tourist'...until I read that he wants to dress as Char Aznable. I was like... SIEG ZEON!

Seriously. He's going to dress as Char, he's already dyed his hair blonde, and he's going to build some gunpla in microgravity on the ISS. All I could think of, was what Lewis Black says about wealthy CEOs coming up with creative things to spend money on instead of simple one-upsmanship. THIS is the kind of thing he's talking about. This guy is going into SPACE as one of the biggest Japanese pop-culture icons of the last 30 years. Char-fucking-Aznable. That's a pretty creative and damned-cool way to blow several million dollars. This guy is awesome beyond compare.

認めたくないものだな…。自分自信の…若さ故の過ちというものを…
JESUS FUCK! Yes, I know this is old news! But it's not like I post every friggin day, you know?

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Baka-chan as miracle cancer treatment?
 
  

12/26/05 @ 04:40:55 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan Brings The Funny, GPMoD People, 197 words, 1271 views  

A couple days ago I banned Samuron/Sammyron/Sammy/Sumoron/Eji/Fuckup from #GPMoD for not getting rid of an idiot-ass script that makes him say 'lusting over lolis' everytime he types 'lol'... The next day, I get this in a query window:

[12.25/17.01.59] <Eji> hay
[12.25/17.02.07] <Eji> is there a way you can download a umd
[12.25/17.02.08] <Eji> and somehow
[12.25/17.02.13] <Eji> MAKE IT WORK ON PC to watch
[12.25/17.03.05] <Eji> cuz i came acrosst the ajikan umd on usenet
[12.25/17.10.02] <Eji> also
[12.25/17.10.19] <Eji> how do i accessed japan2nd.binaries.pictures.erotica.lolita

This involves countless levels of wtf, not the least of which is, this is pretty retarded even by Sumoron standards. Did he really devolve that much in the day he wasn't in the channel? Was the anti-stupid I radiate the only thing keeping his MASSIVE BRAIN TUMOR at bay? I will ponder these things... Meanwhile, EDGE SAMURON HAS HEREBY BEEN DETERMINED TO BE A DANGER TO ALL SENTIENT LIFE, CONTACT WITH HIM MUST BE MINIMIZED, AND REPORTED IMMEDIATELY TO PROPER AUTHORITIES. (For example, a Genepool Lifeguard, or a Paladin of The Order of Ninety-Nine.)

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Checking in.
 
  

12/01/05 @ 11:56:09 am, Categories: Baka-chan Brings The Funny, Site News, Credit Where Credit's Due, 47 words, 1082 views  

Wow, went a week without posting anything...no, I didn't eat turkey till I burst. Thank you for your (lack of) concern... I'll post more about smashmyxbox.com later, as well as some other stuff. Just wanted to check in and share something amusing I read earlier.

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Things that make you go 'WTF?!'
 
  

10/24/05 @ 09:31:40 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan Brings The Funny, 429 words, 938 views  

So, I was looking for new stuff to download, when I noticed an 'Age of Empires III' making-of DVD.

The game's pretty good, and at the very least, one of my friends, who loves the series, might want it. But oh, what's this?! There's a comment on the post? Uh-oh... Is it bad? Incomplete? ARE THERE NO PARS?! OH MY GOD!! *Click*

OMG
Comment created by Member h2d [privmsg] at 10:27PM -- Monday October 24 2005 EST


makeing a movie about makeing a bad game is sad man... one would be mislead to belive they were actually proud of this...
AOE Supreb AOE II Great AOE III BS
I would like to see a the makeing of warcraft or starcraft...

What in the name of fuck?! Why the fuck do people feel the need to thread-crap in the comments of posts on newzbin, like it's a fucking forum? What the hell kind of sentence structure is ANY of that? And 'makeing'?! Fuck this, I'm taking this little shit apart.

(no subject)
Comment created by Member Baka-chan [privmsg] at 11:44PM -- Monday October 24 2005 EST


I'm curious to know how you can misspell a word THREE times that appears SIXTY TIMES on the page you were looking at. (We'll slide right on past the fact that it's not a hard word to spell correctly.) Does that take special training as some sort of Jedi of the Order of Illiterate Bastards?

You have got to be the second most ignorant person I have ever seen utter something on the internet. The first is Jack Thompson, wanted dead or alive for crimes against sentience.

First of all, AoE II is better than AoE. Secondly, AoE III is a great game, and a credit to the studio that put it together.

Your job isn't to go out of your way to tell people that something sucks, that's not what these comment fields are for. So could we, maybe possibly, leave it to people who have some idea what in the hell they're talking about?

If you doubt my claims, I merely refer you to the fact that the majority of sentient bipedal organisms on this planet have things to say about the game that are in direct, and diametric opposition to what you think. So get over it.

http://www.gamerankings.com/htmlpages2/925735.asp

And if any of you would like to see how fucking ridiculous his misspelling 'making' is... Have a look.

Makeing? Honestly, what the fuck, son? You know what I say to that?

MAKEINU!
MAKEINU (Loser)
You fucking fail. You lose at the game of life.

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Some classic Shinsen stupidity.
 
  

10/11/05 @ 12:15:57 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan vs. The Anime Community, Baka-chan Brings The Funny, 686 words, 1273 views  

[07.22/02.34.43] < YABA> When is ragnarock 16 coming out ?
[07.22/02.34.57] < YABA> When is ragnarock 16 coming out ??

[07.22/02.35.31] < keikochan> When you stop being a retard.
[07.22/02.35.37] * Baka-chan sets mode: +b *!*@Rizon-102AA5D7.rjo.virtua.com.br

[07.22/02.35.39] * YABA was kicked by Baka-chan (IT JUST AIRED TODAY YOU SHIT, FUCKING DIE)
[07.22/02.35.44] < keikochan> Awwww.

[07.22/02.35.51] < %Baka-chan> Gods.
[07.22/02.35.55] < keikochan> You didn't let me tell him that that meant never.

[07.22/02.35.57] < keikochan> :(

[07.22/02.36.25] < %Baka-chan> Well, I'm sure even HE figured that much out :P




This is just the beginning of the saga.

Read more! »

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Boredom and IRC, who needs video games?
 
  

09/08/05 @ 02:16:14 am, Categories: Baka-chan Brings The Funny, 433 words, 721 views  

Hehe, this is the kind of shit that happens when we get bored. Piney tells me about what's going on over in #ayu, so I figure out a clever way to join in. Teamwork is the key.


[03:49:53 am] * pmp_ slaps pmp_ with a smelly sea bass

[03:50:04 am] * Piney slaps pmp_ around with a large moogle!
[03:50:23 am] * pmp_ slaps Piney with a rainbow trout

[03:50:32 am] * Piney slaps pmp_ around with a large trout!
[03:50:43 am] * Piney slaps pmp_ around with a large baka!

[03:50:46 am] * Piney stabs pmp_
[03:50:47 am] * pmp_ slaps Piney with a cute little Gold Fish

[03:50:52 am] * Piney impales pmp_
[03:51:09 am] * Piney slaps Piney around with a large wet, nubile catgirl!!

[03:51:13 am] <pmp_> \me kicks Piney in the shins
[03:51:19 am] <pmp_> crap

[03:51:23 am] <Piney> Use a foward slash.
[03:51:27 am] <pmp_> yea

[03:51:31 am] <pmp_> I just hit the wrong one
[03:51:46 am] <Piney> That's ok. We were all n00bs once.

[03:51:51 am] * pmp_ kicks Piney in the shins
[03:51:52 am] <pmp_> haha

[03:51:58 am] <pmp_> I really just hit the wrong slash
[03:52:06 am] <pmp_> it is 4:00

[03:52:10 am] * pmp_ lost faints
[03:52:31 am] * pmp_ dies

[03:52:46 am] * pmp_ slaps Piney with a pickled Herring
[03:52:56 am] * pmp_ slaps Piney with a Guppy Fish

[03:53:04 am] * Lasix is so embararaeed is puking guts on floor...
[03:53:13 am] * pmp_ slaps Piney with a wet noodle

[03:53:22 am] * Piney collects all the fish and cooks them for the poor hurricane refugees.
[03:53:29 am] <pmp_> \o/

[03:54:43 am] * pmp_ goes to bed and wishes Lasix well
[03:56:03 am] * pmp_ kills Piney, stacks all of his furniture on him, throws some paint on him, and then calls it modern art as a way of saying thanks for the help

[03:56:22 am] <Piney> ...
[03:56:37 am] <Piney> Wow. Not only that, but you did it in your sleep too. I'm impressed :P

[03:56:53 am] * pmp_ can sleep type
[03:57:02 am] <pmp_> It is like sleep walking

[03:57:49 am] * pmp_ needs to learn how to make a bot
[03:58:15 am] <pmp_> night

[03:59:15 am] * Piney kicks pmp_ into bed and dumps bleach and ammonia on him.
[04:04:28 am] * Piney dumps rabid gerbils on pmp_ while he's asleep.

[04:04:54 am] * Piney dumps crack on pmp_ and calls the cops
[04:05:21 am] Joins: Baka-chan (~baka@staff.giantpachinkomachineofdoom.com) [227 users]

[04:05:22 am] * Piney tags Baka-chan
[04:05:31 am] <Baka-chan> *COMBO FINISHER*

[04:05:37 am] * Baka-chan Super Gaijin Smashes pmp_ with the latest issue of Shounen GanGan, killing him instantly as its 900-page girth crushes him flat.
[04:05:38 am] * Baka-chan hops back off-screen

[04:05:40 am] Parts: Baka-chan (~baka@staff.giantpachinkomachineofdoom.com) [226 users]

[04:05:47 am] <Piney> VICTORY!

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Poor little bastard.
 
  

08/31/05 @ 12:57:54 am, Categories: Baka-chan Brings The Funny, Pretty Pictures, GPMoD People, 56 words, 1015 views  

This post is dedicated to Samuron, GPMoD's personal Sasazuka-kun. He will one day be remembered for all the random abuse he receives from me on a daily basis... Go stand in the hall.


Poor Sasazuka-kun. (笑!)

Sasazuka-kun is, of course, from the hilarious manga (and now anime) Ichigo Mashimaro. ( 苺ましまろ ) This image is from the second volume of the manga.

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I'm a bastard.
 
  

08/30/05 @ 01:39:18 pm, Categories: Baka-chan Brings The Funny, Baka-chan vs. The World, 11 words, 1014 views  

Song of the moment:

The Tragically Hip - New Orleans is Sinking

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nani sore?
A peek inside the mad, mad, mind of Baka-chan. Animator, artist, hater of stupid people, and evil genius. Look upon the undoing of all order in the universe, and tremble.
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