The original Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom.
>>  The day-to-day chronicles of Baka-chan, evil genius and overlord of the Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom.
I wasn't going to say anything....

06/17/08 @ 01:10:04 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan vs. The Gaming Community, 363 words, 1134 views  

Okay, a little history lesson…

In 1996 a Japanese game company called Tecmo was in dire financial trouble, but they had one thing going for them… Tomonobu Itagaki. Who had gone to work for them in 1992 because– while he could have gone to work for either SEGA or Tecmo –he figured it didn’t matter which, and settled on Tecmo because their offices were closer to where he lived.

He approached then-president Nakamura and told him he could make a game that would SELL. The game was Dead or Alive and it was released in November 1996, and the company went from $5.2mil in losses in 1995, to $9.2mil in profits in 1996. Thanks in large part to Dead or Alive, and Tomonobu Itagaki’s ‘Team Ninja’.

Twelve years later, Tecmo is supported almost entirely by Team Ninja’s franchises: DOA, DOA Volleyball, and Ninja Gaiden.

I tell you all this, so you can sufficiently appreciate what comes next…

Back in May, Itagaki approached current Tecmo president Yoshimi Yasuda regarding the fact that he hadn’t yet been paid his promised ‘completion bonus’ for DOA4…

Let me tell you something about Tomonobu Itagaki… You don’t fuck with this guy. He is just one of those people who practically exude badass. Combine that with the fact that his games basically support the company, and Yasuda’s response is all the more puzzling and bizarre:

‘if you are dissatisfied with the decision not to pay the bonuses, either quit the company or sue it.’


Why would you do that? That defies all reason, nevermind the fact that Itagaki’s personality made what came next thoroughly predictable; he resigned (effective July 1st) and sued the company for 148 million yen.

Now, I wasn’t going to discuss any of that on here, because it was so fucking obvious and ridiculous that it didn’t bear repeating. But it seems that Tecmo isn’t yet finished committing harakiri…

Because now, two more Tecmo employees are suing Tecmo for unpaid wages, in addition to accusing them of violating labor laws and cooking the books.

Wow. Way to go Tecmo. Not content with having achieved terminal velocity, they hit the afterburner. This is going to make the coolest crater. Seriously.

No such thing as stupid questions...

06/11/08 @ 09:07:38 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, 330 words, 847 views  

So, I was curious about the progress that was being made bringing ComicStudio 4 to the English-speaking world, and I stumbled upon this forum post about the network features in ComicStudio/MangaStudio 3….

Someone asks:

I noticed when I read at the Japanese Celsys site that the Japanese version Comic Studio EX 3 has Network functions (DeliveryNet, Extranet), while the Manga Studio EX 3 version has none. Any thoughts on this?

And the response they get is…

As the publishing marketplace for Manga is still fairly new in North America, with only a few players, and that 99% our market place does not speak Japanese, we made the decision to limit that feature in the English version. We do believe however if our user base requests this feature in newer versions, and the market place grows as we do believe it to do so, we will introduce the network capability back into the EX (English) version.

Excuse me, what? What did you just say?

Okay, I have a really stupid question. Why in the name of FUCK are you people removing features ‘just cuz’? I ran into the same problem with the removal of ‘rubi’ and other Japanese typography features. (Interestingly enough the dialogs are still intact and translated in MS3, but not linked to anything.)

As the seemingly last bastion of common fucking sense on the internet, sometimes shit really galls me. How about you just translate the goddamn software and let the end user worry about how they fucking use it? Seriously. It’s a fucking $300 piece of software. Someone should not have to feel the need to buy the program in TWO LANGUAGES just because you didn’t deem some features fucking IMPORTANT.

Guess what? Sooner or later Celsys is going to look at the English userbase and decide they want more than ‘their cut’ of the sales, and they’re going to make a fully-functional English language version and sell it direct. Do you know the name of this game? It’s called YOU’RE FUCKED.

Congrats, you made the front page!

03/12/08 @ 07:30:00 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan vs. The Gaming Community, 615 words, 1073 views  

So, I’ve made about a half dozen posts on this thread on Kotaku about Fumiaki Tanaka’s (President of Konami, for the uninitiated) sales goal for Metal Gear Solid 4…

…all of them informed and thoughtful…

…except the one where I poked fun at someone for making a typo.

And then, I see this:

by Vecha at 12:04 PM
Wow…another fanboy blog. Congrats!

I imagine he clicked on my avatar or whatever the hell and followed the link in my profile… Whatever the details, I could care less…but this ignorant transgression cannot stand. (Also, I was bored waiting for dinner to be done.)

To paraphrase Tycho, “I have marshaled my words, and in doing so destroyed a man.” (I like my version better. It’s also considerably shorter than what I would rather paraphrase from P-A.)

My response: (In case Kotaku removes it, though I don’t believe they do that sort of thing.)

by Bakachan at 05:22 PM

@Vecha: 419 posts, and the latest three are… Two ramblings about how I want to– and am –buying a PS3, and the third is about my hating the English MGS dubs, and so now it’s a fanboy blog?

Do the world a favor and remove yourself from it.

A fanboy is someone whose advocacy of and loyalty to something ignores common sense or basic facts. Just because I would rather BUY a PS3 than be GIVEN an Xbox 360 does not mean I am a fanboy. The PS3 has its problems, but the Xbox 360 has nothing I want. Neither did its predecessor, until Steel Battalion came out. It’s still the only Xbox game I own that didn’t come with my refurbished console. (Splinter Cell)

A fanboy wouldn’t bother pointing out that if you search The Consumerist for posts about the Xbox 360, you get endless horror stories about failed hardware. Not to mention crummy, insane, or just downright malicious tech support and customer service.

Playstation 3 and Sony? There’s the guy who couldn’t get his PS3 fixed because it was ‘too dusty’. And the rest is just retailer shenanigans.

A fanboy would not point out things like this, because a fanboy’s opinion has no basis in reality, much like the religious zealotry that console fanboyism so often resembles. They make judgments based on blind hatred of whatever they oppose, and even blinder loyalty to their faction.

If you bothered reading my blog beyond the first three posts, you’d see that not too long ago, I did seriously consider buying an Xbox 360, pretty much just for Rez and Ikaruga. But I decided it would take more than that. Oh yeah, there’s also the fact that I BARELY TALK ABOUT GAMES, COMPARED TO OTHER SUBJECTS.

But hey, why let little things like truth or simple fact get in the way of name-calling?

At least mine is based on evident facts: You are ignorant. Go away.

So, there you have it. I have unleashed the amount of erudite curbstomping I felt content with and– Oh! I think that’s the oven timer. DINNER.

Because I just can’t help myself sometimes…

by Bakachan at 08:09 PM

Oh, I forgot one more point… Fanboys like to call people stupid for liking any other system.

I have nothing against Xbox 360 owners. Many of my friends own Xbox 360s.

What I _do_ hate with a burning passion, is fanboys. Of ANYTHING. If you come to a rational informed decision based on your own judgments, you are my brother. Even if you bought a Phantom. (Just don’t ever touch me. Ever. I’m not kidding.)

p.s. When you comment on my blog (I went ahead and published it, even though they’re unpublished by default) it logs your hostmask and IP. Just sayin’.

Feces Occur

01/15/08 @ 06:59:22 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, 368 words, 926 views  

So, as many of you know, Dreamhost, the company that hosts this website as well as all my other sites, had a script go awry and cause a $7.5mill billing error.

I don’t think I could be any angrier than I am right now. I’m basically a starving artist, so the $280 they tagged me for this morning is a lot. But I’m not angry at Dreamhost. Not even a little bit. Feces occur.

I am angry at all the self-righteous assholes who are MONUMENTALLY cunt-hurt over this. Is it a huge and terrible fuckup that is going to cost people money? YES. Is Dreamhost doing everything they can to fix the problem? YES. What more is there?

The Dreamhost Status blog post is full of comments threatening legal action, or saying they’re leaving Dreamhost… For what? You’re not going to find a better host for THREE TIMES THE MONEY. Companies are run by people, and occasionally people make mistakes. There was no malice involved. Shit happens. Even the banks and creditcard companies make mistakes sometimes.

Every single argument these assholes make is ridiculous. Bottomline: Shit happens. Unlike a large chunk of Corporate America, DH is doing their best to fix things, and they say they’ll make it right, whatever it takes.

And to the people complaining about the nature and tone of the blog posts… I guess you never read your fucking Dreamhost newsletters. These guys couldn’t be serious at a FUNERAL if it were THEIRS.

Complain when they don’t fix it. Until then, I still stand by my choice to host with DH for the past three years, and it pains me to think that DH is going to take a massive hit no matter what just because people think they live in a goddamn bubble where nothing can happen to them.

Hell, I always pay with a Paypal one-time-use virtual card number, the only reason this got me is because it hadn’t expired yet after I paid for a new domain a couple weeks back.

Nothing like this has ever happened before, and it probably won’t happen again…at least, not the same way. Get over it. Feces Occur, and life goes on. (Until it doesn’t.)

Buried Treasure

11/22/07 @ 02:59:29 am, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Baka-chan vs. YOU, 309 words, 1254 views  

Some amusing stuff from my old 2000-2003 mIRC logs I found on one of the old HDDs.

Session Start: Mon Jan 20 23:01:21 2003
Session Ident: UmbraSG
[11:05:12PM] <UmbraSG> Hehe. What happened, you get banned from AX?
[11:05:20PM] <UmbraSG> so in order to feel male, you have to hunt me down?
[11:05:33PM] <Baka-chan> Actually, a little bird told me you were here, not much hunting to it.
[11:05:41PM] <UmbraSG> So.
[11:05:42PM] <Baka-chan> Just thought I’d come hassle you.
[11:05:44PM] <UmbraSG> I’m not exactly hiding
[11:06:00PM] <Baka-chan> Is that a fact?
[11:06:01PM] <UmbraSG> Ah. Still can’t master that provoking skill, huh?
[11:06:29PM] <Baka-chan> So, it’s my LACK of provocation you took issue with and left AX?
[11:06:50PM] <UmbraSG> No.
[11:07:02PM] <UmbraSG> If you are dying to find out why I left, talk to Every.
[11:07:21PM] <UmbraSG> I’m busy with homework and I don’t have time to have fun with you. Try me some other time.
[11:07:32PM] <Baka-chan> I know why you left.
[11:07:40PM] <Baka-chan> Would you like your EXACT words?
[11:07:56PM] <Baka-chan> Or shall I paraphrase?
[11:13:24PM] <Baka-chan> Ahh! Found it.
[11:13:32PM] <Baka-chan> I believe you said this to every….
[11:13:33PM] <Baka-chan> [06:50pm] <UmbraSG> as of today, you can remove me from all lists of Animextacy. I am quiting.
[11:13:33PM] <Baka-chan> [06:51pm] <UmbraSG> Sorry, man. I’ve had enough from Shibbz and Baka.
[11:13:52PM] <Baka-chan> Lack of provocation skills indeed.
[11:14:40PM] <Baka-chan> btw, there’s TWO ‘T’s in quitting.

That, was the last I heard of Umbra. Except for the racial slur filled comments left on the blog here. Oh yeah, and occasionally getting my UD definition for him removed.

Denial of Service

11/21/07 @ 04:31:14 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, Life of Baka, 170 words, 1054 views  

So, Verizon cut off my internet for non-payment at 00:00 on the 20th… Which meant I was without internet for a day and a half. Getting billed paperlessly for my DSL separate from my phone bill was a GREAT motherfucking idea. Since it went un-paid for 5 months and no one fucking told me.

Also, did you know that when they cut off your DSL, anywhere you try to go redirects you to a delightful page titled ‘Denial of Service’? Seriously. (It’s which doesn’t seem accessible from the ‘outside’.) Of course, just because you logged in and paid them, doesn’t mean they’re going to give you your service back, which several hours wasted on CS drones taught me the hard way.

Ironically, while exploring my old hard drives, I found the old prototype GPMoD magazine PDF from September 2004 which included a rant about how Adelphia cut me off but I already had my DSL starter kit on the way. Yeah, can you see the forward progress I’m making? ;o

Musician's Fucker

08/08/07 @ 11:33:50 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, 317 words, 754 views  

So, I ordered some audio equipment to do the GPMoD podcast… MXL, the manufacturer of the microphone I chose, recommended Musician’s friend…and I had independently found them through Amazon while searching for the mic and mixer I wanted to get… Given that, I didn’t see the necessity of checking them out with Reseller Ratings…

You can probably see where this is going.

So, I give them $156 for the mic, a mixer, and a miscellany of cables and crap, all of which was listed as ‘In Stock’. That was on the 16th of July. On the 18th, the status of my items changed to “Being Packed"… Yeah, that’s still what it says. 25 DAYS LATER

They never responded to any emails, and when I called them, they gave me the same song and dance they’ve been giving people for a couple months now according to Reseller Ratings… “We’re moving warehouses, so things are a little slow.” I didn’t know a MONTH constituted ‘a little slow’. Not only that, but they took the money immediately… Because of that and other things, the bank account ended up in the negative, and incurred $60 in overdraft charges. YAY!

When I called last Friday, the CSR said ‘I’d be surprised if it didn’t ship Monday or Tuesday.’ Be surprised, fucker.

A month later, and not only do I not have my product, but the price of the mic has dropped ten bucks. Fuck these guys. I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on FIRE.

It’s going to take a LOT on their part to make me not tear them a new collective asshole every chance I get… They’re lucky I haven’t reported them to the BBB…yet. They’d damn well better price-match my mic, bump the shipping, and give me a discount off a future stupid decision to order from them. And if THAT order takes a month to ‘pack’, they’re FUCKED

(Mental) Cripple Fights!

07/31/07 @ 01:41:37 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, 233 words, 757 views  

Okay, you all know I’m not a big fan of 4chan and its various off-shoots and whatnot… I would go so far as to say they singlehandedly bring down the average intelligence of the internet by about 70 iq points… But in this incident, they are the lesser of two stupidities, if you can believe that shit.

So, FOX 11 in Los Angeles decided they hadn’t run enough fearmongering sensationalist bullshit for the week, so they decided to air a report that calls users of various *chan boards terrorists. Seriously. I’m not making this shit up, not even for ‘teh lulz’. Don’t believe me?

What…the…FUCK? This is what mundanes who don’t know any better are being subjected to by the media…no doubt most of them are willing to believe this stupid shit out of their fear of anything more complicated than the controls on their microwave.

What is it with people lately? I could really tear into this video and describe point-for-point how fucking stupid and ridiculous it is…but I’m not that fucking bored.

Hey! Anons, /b/tards, and various other varieties of *chan-goers… I have an idea that would be EPIC.

Class-Action Libel Suit.

IANAL, so I don’t know if there IS such a thing, but I bet if several dozen people suddenly sued the LA Fox affiliate for libel, it might make a point.

A word of warning for the Anti-Smart

06/19/07 @ 02:17:51 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, 44 words, 789 views  

Your time on this world draws short.
The seeds are long since sown, and the time of the harvest has come.
Your lives are forfeit.
Notice is given.
No pleas will be heard.
Make your peace.

The Reaper is here. Look upon thy doom.

1 2

Fuck you, FedEx!

06/13/07 @ 04:23:30 pm, Categories: Baka-chan vs. Stupid People, 264 words, 714 views  

You fuckers have screwed me for the last fucking time. You are a bunch of incompetent wretched shitbags.

In the spring, you took my new Sumo Omni beanbag chair on a tour of New England.

Today, you really fucking did it. I’m waiting for this package all fucking day, big package. You fuckers have it, it’s on the fucking truck. Scheduled for delivery today… Of course, you also had this tiny pissant package for me, an ink cartridge…

Finally, after waiting ALL FUCKING DAY, the tracking changes to ‘Delivery delayed, scheduled for next business day’ … well, what about the ink cartridge?

You fuckers left it atop the mailbox at the bottom of the stairs… A package small enough for someone to POCKET if they wanted to. Let’s slide right on past the part where you only ‘delivered’ ONE OF MY TWO PACKAGES, and go right to the part where you were basically too fucking lazy to climb a flight of stairs with a box the size of your fist.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… Fuck you guys.

Fuck you, FedEx!

06/14/07 @ 12:48:27 pm

Well, they ‘delivered’ it… Dropped it at my front door and ran…didn’t even knock. I was like eight feet away, and by the time I reached the door, he was down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk… (Same thing they did with the Sumo Omni…) Does FedEx know about my stock of firearms and burning hatred? Do they have some sense of having wronged me?? The world may never know…

…until I capture me one of them.


<< Previous Page :: Next Page >>

nani sore?
A peek inside the mad, mad, mind of Baka-chan. Animator, artist, hater of stupid people, and evil genius. Look upon the undoing of all order in the universe, and tremble.
August 2018
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
 << <   > >>
    1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31    
User Functions




XML Feeds

Powered By
b2evolution Dreamhost Joomla! Gallery2
Copyright © 2000-2018 Giant Pachinko Machine of Doom and Tangible Imagination Inc. - All rights reserved, and protected by liberal use of ortillery bombardment.